Think Female Friendships Are All Drama? Think Again!
What's the dumbest thing you've ever done? I'll go first. So, there was a time when I thought I could convince my ex to stay by sending countless texts, leaving a barrage of missed calls, and even standing outside his house in the rain with a boom box, night after night. I know, I know, major facepalm moment. I was so certain that these gestures would change his mind, but, as you might guess, they didn’t. We’ve all had those “what was I thinking?” moments, haven’t we? But hey, life’s about learning, growing, and sometimes making a mess of things along the way. As we kick off this month’s newsletter, let’s embrace the lessons, the laughs, and even the awkward moments that come with being human. After all, it’s these experiences that make our stories worth telling.
In this edition, we’ll explore Pericarditis in Women’s Health Finds, delve into What Women Really Want, and highlight an incredible member of our Community. Plus, there are some exciting opportunities you won’t want to miss. So, let’s jump in and make the most of it together!
Women Health Finds
If there was an Olympic event for Overthinking, I would bring home the Gold. It’s a talent that’s both a blessing and a curse, and in the case of this woman who finally had her surgery approved after nearly two years, it definitely felt like a blessing. Her experience highlights the harsh reality that women’s healthcare is severely underfunded and under-researched, which is especially dangerous for black women and their overall well-being. Thanks to a random scroll through TikTok, I stumbled upon information about Pericarditis, an inflammation of the thin sac-like tissue surrounding the heart. The symptoms often include sharp, stabbing chest pain that can radiate to the left shoulder and neck. While the pain may develop suddenly and disappear, it can return with even worse symptoms, making immediate medical attention crucial.
Pericarditis is most commonly seen in men, particularly those aged 16 to 65, but it can affect women too, as it did with Emaje. What really stood out in the comments on that post was the deeper issue of medical misogynoir. Why else would a woman, especially a black woman, seeking medical care be repeatedly dismissed? While I am relieved she finally got the treatment she needed, the fact that it took so long is deeply troubling. It makes you wonder—what other health conditions disproportionately affect women? If you’ve come across any, I’d love to hear about them. Let’s keep the conversation going and stay informed together.
What Women Wish
If you’ve lived in our patriarchal world for any length of time, you’ve likely encountered phrases like “Women are terrible friends,” “Women are always jealous,” or “Female friendships are full of drama.” These tired stereotypes are perpetuated by many men and even some women, and today, we just wish everyone would stop the negative chatter about what is truly a gift: female friendships.
Did you know that a Harvard study compared the impact of lacking female friendships to the dangers of smoking? The absence of these connections is as harmful as lung cancer, and it could even shorten your life. That’s how crucial female friendships are. Fortunately, I’m not alone in recognizing their importance. Here’s what other women have to say about the value of female friendships:
Jemimah: My girls bring warmth into my life. They help me navigate life. I literally do life with them. I can be myself with them. There is no judgement here. It’s a special bond. It’s sisterhood.
Miracle: It’s family. It’s everything. I can’t describe it but it means so much to me. I don’t have a sister so my female friends are my sisters.
Zainab: My girls keep me grounded. They offer the best advice and they make my life so much fun.
Tari: My female friends help me to reflect on my intentionality. They keep me in check. Female bonds are a necessary means for survival.
Priscilla: I have had the same group of friends for almost five years and one thing I love about our friendship is how we hold each other accountable to the standards we set for ourselves. Our friendship has set a ridiculously high standard for suitors because if I can love my sister this way and be loved in return with the same intensity, why would I settle for bare minimum?
Praise: My girls steady me. They feel like the only raft I hang onto when I’m lost at sea. There is a level of vulnerability I achieve with them that is just impossible outside our thing. And it’s a huge thing for me because I struggle with vulnerability. But most importantly, they see me. They see my dreams, ambitions, likes, dislikes. I am truly seen by them. And what is love if not being seen?
The bonds we share with our fellow women is one that is unmatched. Your girls will literally save your life! What does female friendship mean to you? Tell me using the button below.
Community Spotlight
At Her Story, we believe in the power of community and the incredible individuals who help shape it. In this month’s Community Spotlight, we are thrilled to introduce you to a remarkable woman whose dedication and passion for making a difference have earned her two prestigious fellowships (The Peace Gong Fellowship & Carrington Youth Fellowship) in just two months. She’s a force to be reckoned with, balancing multiple roles within our community while staying true to her mission of empowering others. In this interview, TamaraTari shares her experiences, inspirations, and the driving force behind her work with Her Story. From leading impactful projects to co-running our beloved book club, she offers a glimpse into what keeps her motivated and how she manages to juggle it all. Whether you’re new to the Her Story community or a long-time member, her journey is sure to inspire you. Read her interview here.
In Case You Missed It
Here’s a recap of what we’ve been up to in 2024 and plans for the rest of the year.
The first cohort of Her Story Speaking Club has completed their second month of classes.
Her Story Movie Lovers had a Webinar on “Female Representation in Nigerian Cinema and the Cultural Narrative”. Watch the recording here.
Click here to see the 3 young ladies who emerged as winners in our Creative Storytelling Contest
Her Story Book Lovers will be joining Damilare Kuku, author of “Only Big BumBum Matters Tomorrow” on a Twitter Space this Saturday to discuss the book. Join the conversation.
We are partnering with the Lagos Model United Nations this weekend and a few selected members of our community will be participating in the dialogues and debates.
Opportunities Corner
Article Feature of The Month
Motherhood and Family Planning by Kelechi Anele
Society has groomed women to aspire to the 3rd and 4th stages without any serious thought to making the best use of the 2nd stage. I’m not saying that being a wife and mother is not something to be proud of. In fact, it is something noteworthy. My only issue is that society tends to glamorize these stages without preparing the ladies for the challenges that are often encountered as a mother and a family woman. Click for more.
We Want to Know
Annnnnnnnd, it’s a wrap!
Till next month, we stay having impactful conversations in our community. Join us!
Written by Praise Vandeh & TamaraTari Alakiri
Edited by Oreoluwa Ojo
One thing we do at #herstory is have great and impactful conversations!
Great post! I hope the creative storytelling winners will come share on Substack. The fiction community here is welcoming and there are a ton of readers for it!