Contagious Disease Alert

Have you been bitten by the love bug?

Hey Lovebird,

Have you felt the flutter of Cupid's wings yet? It's that time of the year again when love is in the air, and we are here to spread some cheer to all our lovely community members!

First off, let's talk about the contagious disease that's been sweeping through hearts lately: love! If you're a Nigerian reading this, you know that sometimes, shooting your shot is all it takes to score big. But hey, even if things don't go as planned at the AFCON championship, remember that there's no shame in the game. After all, who needs a plastic trophy when you've got heartstrings to tug? Abegiii!

In this month's newsletter, we're serving up a delicious feast for the soul with our Breakfast Table, What Women Wish, Sexual Health Corner, some exciting Community News and Level Up Opportunities curated just for you! So grab your cup of love potion and let's dig in!

The Breakfast Table

While some folks are splurging on outrageously priced Valentine's Day packages, others are still flying solo (hey, there’s no shame in that!). Whether you're single and ready to mingle or already wrapped up in a cozy romance, remember that love comes in all shapes and sizes. So, let's raise a toast to knowing our worth and steering clear of relationships that don't spark joy! Speaking of which, let me spill the tea on my friend Sarah's love saga. From the honeymoon phase to a reality check, her story is a reminder that not all that glitters is gold. Keep reading for the full scoop!

Back in 2019, my friend Sarah embarked on a romantic journey with a guy named Dotun. Initially, everything seemed like a fairy tale, but as time unfolded, so did the truth about Dotun's character. He treated Sarah poorly, leaving her feeling shattered and questioning her self-worth. Despite her efforts to make things work, the relationship took a toll on her, both emotionally and physically. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Sarah found herself in lockdown, away from Dotun's toxic presence. It was during this time of solitude that she began to reflect on her situation. She realized she deserved better and mustered the courage to walk away, reclaiming her sense of self-worth in the process. I couldn't be prouder of the woman she has become.

Sarah's story serves as a poignant reminder that not all that glitters is gold. Sometimes, beneath the charming facade lies manipulation and mistreatment. We often ignore the red flags, hoping things will change, but in reality, perfect relationships don't exist—only healthy ones do. Love should never leave bruises, whether physical or emotional. While it's commendable to work through challenges, one should never compromise their well-being for the sake of a relationship. Remember, love shouldn't be a battlefield. It's meant to uplift and empower, not diminish and harm. So, my dear friends, let Sarah's journey be a lesson for us all. Let's prioritize our happiness and well-being in matters of the heart, and may we find love that adds joy and fulfillment to our lives.

What Women Want

I am of the opinion that women have always been clear about what they want in a relationship, but it often feels like some men have selective hearing. However, it gives me hope that there are guys out there, like the Tom Hollands and Peter Kavinskys of this world, who genuinely want to understand and be better partners. They learn from their friendships with women, proving that men and women can have platonic relationships without the drama. Yet, sometimes the lines can get blurry, especially when a guy has a close female friend while dating someone else. Should the girlfriend feel threatened? Should she be labeled as insecure if she brings it up? These are questions worth exploring.

In Dr. Amanda Ferguson's article, "Why do women hate women?", she sheds light on how personal insecurities and societal pressures can pit women against each other as a result of the patriarchy's conditioning, pushing women to compete rather than collaborate. Remember your Wattpad favourites, where good girls were changing bad boys and exes were portrayed as bitter villains? This mindset doesn't translate well into real-life relationships. Good girls don't always get rewarded, and that narrative needs to change.

Women wish for a world where they can rise above the competitive mindset and support each other. It's about replacing rivalry with collaboration, a shift that benefits everyone. Let's stop subjecting women to unnecessary scrutiny and focus on dismantling the patriarchy and internalized misogyny. Women are not the enemy; the real enemy is the oppressive systems that keep us down

Sexual Health Corner

Let's talk about matters of the heart... and other body parts! Did you know that a healthy heart can spice up your love life? It would also interest you to note that it’s the National Heart Health Month in the United States so this is a very timely conversation. This February, show your heart some love with a healthy dose of exercise and a balanced diet. Trust me, your heart will thank you later! And speaking of spicing things up, did you know that regular exercise can lead to more intense orgasms? In her article, “Does Being Fit Improve Your Sex Life?", Nicole Davis reveals that regular exercise can improve a woman’s sexual experience. That's right, folks! So why wait? Let's get our hearts pumping and our bodies moving for a Valentine's Day to remember! (Please remember to take all the necessary precautions and also note that abstinence still remains the best contraceptive).

Opportunities for You

1. McKinsey & Company Next Generation Women Leaders Program EMEA 2024 for Young Professionals

2. Undergraduate Entrepreneurship Incubation Program (UEIP 2024)

3. ​Mandela Institute For Development Studies (MINDS) Scholarship Program For Leadership Development 2025 For African Students

4. The Yunus & Youth Global Fellowship Program 2024 for early-stage young social entrepreneurs

5. ​NHEF Scholars Program 2024 For Undergraduate Nigerian Students

Community News

We have something exciting in store for you in March. The second edition of the Lagos Community Dialogue is happening live at the University of Lagos! We have been funded by the Girl Up, United Nations Award and we will be partnering with the likes of Document Women, JCI Nigeria, YALI Lagos, Siren Women and many more! We have only 90 tickets up for grabs. If you would like to secure an early bird ticket, click here.

Article Feature of the Month

Why Men Should Support Feminism Too by Adebayo Sam Oni

Feminism is not the hatred of men as some seem to assume, nor is it a club of women trying to steal power from men. Feminism is also not two-faced, and by this, I refer to those ladies and sometimes men, who identify as feminists only when it pleases their own agendas. These sorts of individuals may call themselves feminists, but they do not fall under the consensus and are almost always considered outliers, and these sorts of people exist because no matter how upright an ideal is, humans will always create an extremist version of it, or try to take advantage of the situation for their own exploitative purposes. Read More.

Annnnnnnd, it’s a wrap!

We hope you enjoyed this month's newsletter as much as we enjoyed putting it together. Show us some love by subscribing and getting a friend or lover to subscribe too. After all, love is meant to be shared! And while it's still fresh and the packages are still being delivered, Happy Valentine's Day!

With love,

David and Tari.

One thing we do at #herstory is have great and impactful conversations!